Fixed

One major flaw I possess is that I believe in true love and I believe in people and I really wish that I could stop that tendency because it truly destroys me on every level.

I just feel that the people I have give blind trust and love too,  are totally shitting on me, forgetting every promise they have ever give me and, I guess, not caring.

I truly wish I could do that, not care. It seems to bring so many people happiness  and satisfaction. Maybe its evil of me to dream of, but I guess it's just another stereotype coming trues, the romantic bleeding-heart dreaming of being a super bitch. It's so removed from what I am, but sometimes I find it hard to live with a heart that's always broken and never fixed...

So I guess the only questions is....will I every learn from my mistakes?

 

Walking...

A lot of sound is filling me tonight, I'm trying to let the tones move through me, travel through my heart and fare away. I feel a lot of anger, rage and hurt and when I'm summing it up in my head, it seems so petty and small unless you are at the heart of the situation.

I was promised a place and a feeling, I was charged to produce blind trust and I gave it, but it was not returned to my heart, mind or life and the debt still stands unanswered. It's my fear that it always will do so and they truly will not care in any way, or even remember what was promised.

My heart is breaking because I feel so very betrayed, especially after I gave the blind trust that was demanded of me, and returned non at all to me. Its a very hard one to swallow because it means that I'm alone again.

Well maybe the universe is trying to tell me something, yet again I'm meant to walk alone on this path of a lifetime.