One kind of falling

You could tell they had not knowen each other for that long, one chatty and listening shyly. Chatty is buff, thight and beautiful and chubby  is, well chubby and that expalines it, but what he dont see  is that he’s also very pretty, but chatty see’s it, but I wonder if he will every tell him.

Chatty is also funny, or tryes to be, and he’s playfull in the way he licks the milk foam slowly off with a shoon and lets his toung caress the spoon for a bit too long. If I did that you would not notice, but when he did it, it became erotic, of not pornographic.

He’s gestures bring us close to each other from across the small coffee table, carefully I try and lean closer over the table, in a very planned casual way, but I loose my nerve and pull back, his phone rings and he pulls back as well, and I feel a very distinct stab in  my heart. It must have shown on my face, because while he’s talking on the phone, his face expresses concern for me.

That’s the problem with being fundamentally shy, you just can’t help being too honest. And that don’t fit together at all.

I warm up and get fare to hopeful for my own good…

It always takes a while but when he warms up, he would become more daring and just be so funny, and that fact that he did not know this just made it so much more funny, and not to mention, honest, something humor rarely is,. I know mien isn't.

He seem preoccupied and nervous, he listens a lot and I always wonder what he’s thinking, and what he’s filing away, I wonder where he stores his words and thoughts, and if he every looks at them again, or if he just hides them.

He makes me laugh, and despite all my masks and ways of hiding in full daylight, he somehow sees me, and makes me forget my collection of masks. I don't know how he dose it, but he dose it everytime. Except if we are not alone, then he hides in full daylight much better then me.

We have a meeting  with the rest of the office and much go, already he’s going into hiding,

I hug him and hope…

streets of love

I found my corner in Costa...I got my coffee and my time. sigh. Truly at this moment in time, I have very few thoughts, which for me is just fab since most of my thoughts usually are very stressed and very numerous.

Naturally I carry all of  my old world with me, they don'r burden me because I have let go, or rather I don't live in them. I have created something new.

Im re-reading a diary page from last year, the 3th of march 2010, and listening to my own doubt and hope and fear, and seeing how fare I have come since then. I tend to forget how much I have done and achieved so I now make a point of re-reading these pages to observer the miles I have traveled.

The next day my dear friend and I took the train to London for the day. We had no other plans then a museum and a bit of shopping and we did this and LOTS more. Theres many things to hate in London and theres many many things to love. Love beats hates. And I was very surprised how much I have missed the life of the big city, how much the busy streets and buildings call me and knew my name very well.      
 

More changes

Its time to shape again, or rather its time to take the power of action more in my own hands and shape the situation according to my heart. My company is moving from England to Malmö Sweden in about 6 months. 

I can chose to stay under different and not so great circumstances, or move with the department to Malmö.......neither option is acceptable. 

Oh well, so like many MANY others in this day and age, its time to go out in the world and sell my ability to work, my dedication, my loyalty and hope to the highest...lowest....any bidder. I could move again, but I don't want to. As it turned out I fit in here much better then I expected when I came, and theres still so much more to experience and create, still so many aspects of my new life that needs shaping. 

But I must admit that I miss Copenhagen, and a handful of wonderful people, but in general I don't miss the average person, or rather, I don't miss the mentality in Denmark. So a small part of my is tempted, but the other part of me is not moving. 

So its back to the drawing board I guess....wish me luck. :)     

The moment of Yule 2010

I'm sitting with my friends eating and drinking my way through the Yule time days and nights. Things did not quite go as planed, but not in a negative way (sort of), things just became more clear and love that much more alive in the life I live. The daily events from the  past and the close future is moving through my mind, but resting the the safe place of my nearest and dearest, I can see things a bit more clear and make plans...

The sun have finally been reborn on the nurturing darkness of winter and I must say that Im hopeful, a bit nerves but also very excited about the things to come, 2011 is going to be yet another unique year under the moon and there ares things to be done, but for the moment happiness have descended upon the now.

Birth of light from shadows

As the shadows move through the streets towards theirs last and most powerful day of the circle, so it feels do my life (though not as dramatic as all that). Feelings behind events are the daily life are forming in clarity and I'm finally getting around to another time of shaping, because there are still things left undone and life patterns in my new beginning that's not been fulfilled as of yet.  So Im gathering more then just hope, I'm gathering determination and will.

On a completely different note I'v just finished reading Joanne Harris' book "Runemarks". I believe it's her first fantasy novel, but it's REALLY good. She based it on norse mythology, no what happened after Ragnarok, and the ancient runes. Now I'v studied runology at Copenhagen university so naturally I'm  thrilled by seeing them used as a faculpoint in this massive novel. A really wonderful read.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Runemarks-Joanne-Harris/dp/0385611307/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1292713464&sr=8-2

Tomorrow I'm turning 31 years of age, or actually as my friend just reminded my on facebook, back where I come from they are one hour in from of the uk, so I just turned 31. :)
Fore once I really don't mind, norhave I arranged anything...or so I thought, but my friends informed my that Im spending the day with them lol. Actually I cant wait, we don't get to each other that much these days since life are getting more and more busy, so it will be nice to just sped the day together and talk and laugh.

Ohh well.....I'll make a relaxing return to world of warcraft followed by an new fab book and then to bed.

Good night lovers.  

On the other side of the block......

Moving to another country means that the searching is not going to stop anytime soon I guess... I have now lived on the southern coast of England for almost 6 month and everything is going well, but naturally theres challenges waiting around every corner I turn, but I like that and it leaves a lot of space for creation.

By walking everywhere I try and make the streets my own; with every step I take I notice more details and with every detail I feel that live here more......do that make seance any other place that in my head?

I must say that being in another country, away from familiar places and people at christmas, I do feel more then just a bit sentimental and I keep looking back at the capital city I left this summer. And I do miss Copenhagen, it's a beautiful city with a rich history and museums I have seen 150 time and could see 160 times more. But theres so much that I don't miss, like the rude strangers on the street and the general mentality, I know that 6 months in a new country is not a lot, but mentality wise I feel more at home here.  

But theres still a lot of work to do, lots of new people to meet, new friends to make, and making special efforts to make room for those old and dear ( and few) friends from the native streets. I know don't How long I'll stay here, maybe 6 month more, maybe 6 years more but I'm definitely not finished here.  :) 

Busy Shaping

This is a time of shaping, beginnings are over, this is shaping. Grabbing things from thin air and giving form. Reviving old dreams and giving them reality, a scent, a color and a feeling. This is beyond forgiving and past, sorrow, happiness or even future. This is what they use to call living. 

I'm busy shaping. Busy singing and letting past be past and busy letting the precent be fully precent. I let my cells let go of primal sorrow and forgive myself everything. I reshape reality in my dreams and claim. 

I'm busy shaping, busy loving, busy walking in the morning, busy talking in the light, busy living dreams in reality on weekends, busy living with people, busy being. I'm being......